Doing vs. Being

“The impulse frequently arises in me to squeeze another this or another that into this moment. I have learned to identify this impulse and mistrust it. I work hard at saying no to it. It conspires with my mind to keep me unconscious. It has me unavailable to others at those times, missing the play of light on the table, the smells in the room.”

Jon Kabat-Zinn, author of “Wherever You Go, There You Are“

We appear to be a society of pathological DOERS whose every waking moment needs to be filled to the brim with some form of activity or attentional diversion.  

How ridiculously pathetic is it that even I, now a carefree retiree, often find myself questioning moments of inactivity, wondering if such idle time wouldn’t be better spent DOING something!  

I notice that a measure of guilt and low-grade agitation tend to accompany such moments as I catch myself mentally cycling through a list of potential activities that could help fill the void. 

At such times it actually takes effort to spurn such thoughts and just settle back into doing absolutely nothing of note or import. 

Of course, it doesn’t help that there’s always that question: “So, Rob, now that you’re retired, what are you DOING?”  How silly is it that part of me feels pressured – almost obligated – to come up with an interesting response! 

I don’t recall my father or grandfather having to face this issue.  In their day there was no expectation of exotic travel or absorbing hobbies or humanitarian volunteering or any other keep-yourself-interestingly-busy undertakings – they simply retired – and the basic flow of their lives just continued. 

It is surely telling that homes back then routinely came equipped with generous porches – a place of rest specifically designed to accommodate idleness; a spot to just sit, pass the time, and watch the world go by.  In other words, to just be.

And what have we managed to turn that pleasingly sedate world into?  A place where the act of doing nothing actually requires effort and willpower!

“The meaning of life is just to be alive.  It is so plain and so obvious and so simple.  And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.”

Alan Watts, British writer and philosopher (1915 -1973)

This Isn’t to Say That Doing Is Always Bad  

Now don’t get me wrong, societal progress and its betterment – poverty reduction, improved health and safety, a better-educated populace, to say nothing of the greater wealth necessary to fund such initiatives – all require “doing”.

No, what I’m talking about isn’t the evil of doing but, rather, the lack of balance between doing and simply “being” that is in evidence today. 

Some examples come to mind: 

• Cell phone addiction – while of unquestionable benefit to society, in far too many instances these wonderful devices appear to function mainly as adult pacifiers, sparing the user from having to otherwise engage with their environment.
• Structured-play addiction – back in my day my only structured play was baseball in the summer, to which I cycled to get to the games.  In winter, I and the neighborhood kids played road hockey in front of my folks’ house (an activity now sadly banned in a number of Canadian cities).  During high school I spent many an evening simply hanging out with friends on a street corner about three blocks away from our home.  To my knowledge, despite this slow-paced existence, all of us turned out to be productive, law-abiding, contributing citizens.  Fast forward to today and it is not unusual for a child to be enrolled in multiple structured activities, most of which necessitate being driven somewhere.  I’ll leave it to you to assess which approach to life best fosters mindfulness. 
• Work addiction – my dad was a machinist for Ontario Hydro for over forty years.  He would start at 7:30am sharp and religiously finish at 4pm, leaving more than enough time for a periodic round of golf in the summer and bowling league in the winter.  I too experienced this same certainty in my first job as a mining engineer – day’s end meant day’s end – none of today’s norm for working late or taking work home or working on weekends or while on vacation or over holidays.  And there was no checking of email at all hours of the day (we’ll politely skim over the fact that email didn’t yet exist at the time I landed my first full-time job!  Nonetheless, society somehow managed to function without it – go figure)!

“Before capitalism, most people did not work very long hours at all. The tempo of life was slow, even leisurely; the pace of work relaxed. Our ancestors may not have been rich, but they had an abundance of leisure. When capitalism raised their incomes, it also took away their time.”
Excerpt from, “The Overworked American: The Unexpected Decline of Leisure” by Juliet Schor

Why Too Much Doing and Not Enough Being is a Problem

I, for one, find this societal change to be both sad and tragic.  Why so? For two reasons:

• First, because minds never at rest are, by default, minds never at ease, and this contributes to the chronic anxiety and unconscious mindlessness prevalent in today’s society.   
• Second, under pressure to always be ‘doing’ we lose the ability to pause, take note of our surroundings, and appreciate the simple joys of life – a newly-opened flower, bird song, passing clouds, the warm glow of dusk and dawn– small but important joys only experienced while simply ‘being’.

“All over the world, people are so caught up in running that they forget to take advantage of the beauty around them. We become so accustomed to speeding ahead that we rob ourselves of these moments of joy.

Being able to appreciate, being able to look closely, being able to open our minds, this is the key.”

Pema Chodron, Buddhist nun and author of, “When Things Fall Apart“

THE WONDERFUL LIGHTNESS OF BEING

Perhaps I’m guilty of nostalgia for times past, but it strikes me as tragic that the act of simply ‘being’, while once the norm in pre-industrial times, is today rarely considered a valuable use of one’s time.

And what do I mean by being?  Here are some examples:

• While out hiking in the woods, stopping periodically to just listen – to the silence; to the breeze through the leaves; to the birds; to the distant buzz of civilization.   
• On a rainy day, just sitting and listening to the ping of the drops against the window; watching the waves of water ripple downward.
• While waiting in a lineup or for a bus or plane or cab, putting away your cellphone, turning off your music, putting down your book and simply cycling through your five senses – hearing, seeing, feeling, smelling, and tasting – actively engaging with your surroundings and simply noticing.

“To be mindful is to be in the present, noticing all the wonders that we didn’t realize were right in front of us.”

Dr. Ellen Langer, Professor of Psychology, Harvard University and author of “Mindfulness“

The Payoff 

Why is it beneficial to seek out moments of just ‘being’? 

Because the focused attention it entails is naturally calming; it slows down our breathing and quiets our useless mind-chatter.   

By bringing us back into the present moment, the radical act of choosing to do nothing melts away our anxiety and induces a profound sense of well-being.

In short, routinely taking time to just ‘be’ provides us with true happiness; a happiness not contingent on our circumstances; a happiness we all seek but, in our unthinking busyness and haste, only rarely get to experience.

Warmest wishes,

Rob @ Living a Mindful Life