Life in the Slow Lane

“Slow isn’t a speed, it’s a state of mind.”

Anonymous

Why Are We in Such a Hurry?

Have you ever noticed just how joyless life feels when you’re in a hurry?  And it’s joyless because this is how it makes us feel: 

When rushing we are grumpy, agitated, self-centered, impatient, judgmental, humorless, intolerant, narrow-minded, mistake-prone, careless, quick to anger, easily frustrated, stressed, overwhelmed, and biased toward perceiving life negatively.  

In short, rushing turns life into a struggle; every impediment, no matter how minor, feels like a major obstacle thwarting our plans.

Given how miserable rushing makes us feel, why are we in such a hurry?

Because We Choose To Be

It was yet another beautifully-warm sunny day in Tobago when my wife and I, basking in the joy of our honeymoon, ventured into a general store in search of some much-needed sun screen. 

Staff, friends, and locals were all hanging about, smiling, laughing, chatting – having a wonderful time – but dammit, no one was coming over to serve us! 

My wife and I looked at each other in disbelief wondering what the heck was wrong with these people?  Can’t they see that there are paying customers waiting for them to do their job?  Can’t they see that they’re wasting our time!  

Feeling a sense of righteous indignation, I approached one of the staff to ask for service.  In a friendly, polite tone she informed me that it was break time.

“Is everyone on break at the same time?” I inquired.  “Yes sir” came the reply, “It’s break time.  We’ll be back in about fifteen minutes.”

“Food and grocery shopping in Tobago is an experience that will either bring extreme frustration or a huge smile to your face. Allow lots of time. Shopping on Tobago is not something that can be hurried. Tobago time operates in a different dimension and “hurrying” is a guaranteed way of raising blood pressure and creating tension.”

Source: https://www.mytobago.info/shopping.php

Ah, vital life lesson learned – hurrying is a choice! 

Who knew!  After all, back home in Canada we all rush around like mad fools much of the time, so I reasonably assumed that this was just the way life is.

Well, it’s not. 

Rushing, hurrying, and impatience are a choice.  Just because all those around you are losing their heads doesn’t mean you have to lose yours too.  You can step off the proverbial gerbil treadmill if you so choose. 

“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.”

Lily Tomlin, American comedian

Not that this will be easy mind you.  After all, in North America at least (if not Tobago!), we’ve conditioned each other to believe that rushing around is normal – expected almost. 

And if you disagree, then just try doing the speed limit one day to see how many frantic drivers are on your tail looking to pass at the first opportunity, often at the risk of life and limb.

“Rushing doesn’t save time, it just rearranges it.”

Anonymous

Slow is a State of Mind, Not a Speed

Here’s the good news; speed on its own is not the problem. You don’t have to move like an old man to live life in the slow lane. You can still move or work with alacrity without triggering that awful feeling of being in a hurry.

So when does fast turn into rushing? When you become fixated on the future, wanting whatever you’re doing in the present moment to end so you can get to some future state.

For example, let’s say it’s your turn to cook supper, something you don’t particularly enjoy. Given this situation, what are you likely to do?  Well, if you’re like most people, you will probably try to rush through it, likely grumbling about it the entire time.  

But therein lies the problem. You’re stuck in the present moment (in this instance, having to cook) but wanting to be in the future (perhaps watching TV or reading a good book, pretty much anything other than having to prepare a meal).

In this manner you turn the present moment into an obstacle and make yourself miserable in the process.

“Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there’.

Eckhart Tolle, author of “The Power of Now”

But here’s the thing – you can’t get to that, or any, future moment except by living through a string of present moments. Rushing to get anywhere is what “wishing your life away” is all about.  And there’s a very good reason we’re cautioned not to do so – because life is precious – too precious to waste in a state of unconscious agitation.

The simple fact is that life doesn’t happen in the future, life happens in the now.

Sensing When We’re Rushing 

How can we tell when fast is turning into rushing?  Whenever we start to feel frantic and impatient. 

And we all know that feeling – our muscles tighten, our focus narrows, our five senses dull, we lose our sense of humor, and a life-sucking seriousness sets in.   

These are our cues to slow down.

How to Slow Down

Whenever you catch yourself starting to rush, try P.B.S. – Pause, Breathe, Smile.

1. Pausing means to momentarily stop doing and simply be.  This helps break our fixation on the future.
2. Deep slow breathing coupled with conscious muscle relaxation triggers our calming parasympathetic nervous system, shutting down our stress response.  
3. Smiling terminates our seriousness and helps us regain proper perspective.

The Low Down on Slow Down

Aside from dispensing with the angst brought on by rushing, there are many other beneficial reasons for choosing to live life in the slow lane.  Here are a few:

You’ll Live Longer and Better

Feeling rushed triggers our stress system – it tricks our body into thinking we’re in danger and so need to physically flee.  But there’s nothing to flee from, it’s just us thinking our way into a snit.

So, if you’re always rushing, then you’re always stressed.

But here’s the thing, chronic stress reduces life expectancy.  So, if you want to die sooner rather than later, rush.  Rushing through life literally does rush you through life!

And if stress doesn’t kill you then there’s a good chance it’s going to make you seriously ill or worsen an existing condition.  Depression, cancer, and cardiovascular disease are but three illnesses linked to stress.

You’ll Live Longer Even if You Don’t Live Longer

Because rushing renders us unconscious we miss out on much of our life.  Think of all those present moments that pass by unnoticed, unremarked, and unappreciated.

Life’s small joys become invisible to us when we’re rushing.  Simply put, if we don’t slow down sufficiently to even notice that there are roses, what hope do we have of actually smelling them? 

“The trail is the thing, not the end of the trail. Travel too fast, and you miss all you are traveling for.”

Louis L’Amour, American novelist (b 1908)

“One of the great ironies of life is that the more one rushes to save time, the more living time one loses to the fog of unconsciousness.”

Anonymous

Slowing down to appreciate life’s small joys increases our lived life even if it adds not one single second to our physical time on this earth.

You’ll be Wiser

The brain’s locus of executive functioning is the prefrontal cortex (PFC), located just behind the forehead.   It plays a key role in things like impulse control, emotional control, and creative thinking, all part and parcel of what we refer to as wisdom.

But here’s the thing – the PFC goes offline under stress.   Because rushing triggers our stress response, when you’re feeling hurried you lose access to your innate wisdom – you become impulsive, emotional, and struggle to come up with creative solutions to whatever challenges you may be facing.

So, if you wish to be the best you at all times you’ve got to learn how to slow down and become present at the first sign of internal angst.  Once calmed, wisdom comes back online.

You’ll Have Greater Patience

Rushing breeds impatience which is the antithesis of being mindful.  It is not for nothing that patience is considered a virtue.

“Why is patience so important?  Because it makes us pay attention.”

Paulo Coelho, Brazilian novelist

You’ll Respond to Life Rather Than React to It

Slowing down the mind provides just that extra little bit of time to catch ourselves before we say or do something in the heat of the moment that we later regret.  

Living life in the slow lane provides the opportunity to respond intelligently to life rather than react to it unthinkingly.

You’ll Be a Nicer Person

As referenced above, rushing tends to turn us into decidedly unpleasant individuals, easily agitated, quick to anger, and not a whole lot of fun to be around.  

Slowing down directly counters this, helping us to be kinder, gentler, more easy going, and less easily thrown off balance.  

In this more balanced frame of mind we are better placed to contribute to the world’s peace rather than add to its aggression.

“When the mind is going too fast, it is impossible to be sensitive to the needs of others.”

Eknath Easwaran, author of “Take Your Time – The Wisdom of Slowing Down“

Unpleasant Moments Will Seem to Pass By Faster

One of the functions handled by the left hemisphere of the brain is the conscious awareness of the passing of time.  Conversely, the right hemisphere is not time aware.

Meditation has been found to preferentially activate the right side of the brain.  Therefore, to the extent that slowing down fosters a meditative state, time passes faster. 

This is one possible explanation behind the saying, “Time flies when you’re having fun”.  Having fun promotes a focus on the present moment leading to a relaxed, meditative state.  With the right side of the brain activated we temporarily lose the ability to judge the passage of time – four hours of fun seem to pass by in minutes. 

Back to our cooking example.  By trying to rush through it you inadvertently activate the left side of your brain and so become ultra-sensitive to the passage of time – preparing supper seems to take an eternity.

On the other hand, if you slow down and just focus on the task at hand (thus fostering a calm, meditative state) the right hemisphere of your brain will be activated – supper preparation will seem to take less time than it actually did.

You’ll See Reality More Clearly

As discussed in this post, the ancient part of our brain, the amygdala, functions wonderfully to keep us safe from potential danger by triggering our stress response, preparing us to fight or flee in a matter of milliseconds. 

However, the tradeoff for this quickness is inaccuracy – think policeman mistaking a submarine sandwich for a gun (yes, this has actually happened, with deadly consequences).  

Slowing down provides two major benefits:

1. We see reality with greater clarity and so can respond more appropriately.
2. By calming our mind we turn off our reactionary amygdala and switch on our wiser prefrontal cortex.  As a result, creative solutions to life’s challenges come more readily to mind.  In addition, we’re less impulsive and better able to avoid getting caught up in pointless drama.

Kinetic Energy = Mass x Velocity Squared

In North America at least, society has decided that the maximum speed limits posted on our highways and byways are to be taken as the minimum speeds everyone is expected to do. 

But, as Sir Isaac Newton’s classical equations show us, going faster has serious implications; in short, speed kills.

Take an average passenger car weighing 4000 pounds.  If it’s involved in a collision with another vehicle, how much more destructive force comes into play at 120 kph versus 100 kph (i.e. a 20% increase in speed)?

• 4000 lbs x 100 kph x 100 kph = 40 million
• 4000 lbs x 120 kph x 120 kph = 57.6 million

In other words, a 20% increase in speed results in a 44% increase in destructive energy.  Push this to 130 kph and the extra force involved is almost 70% greater.

To no surprise, the risk of death increases exponentially with an increase in speed, and this despite what appear to be relatively modest differences in vehicle velocity.

When it comes to driving, slowing down really does mean slowing down, for reasons too obvious to state. 

Eating Will Be More Than Simply Fueling Up

Eating our meals slowly delivers a number of benefits:

1. Eating is one of the great joys of life, one that is enhanced materially if we slow down enough to savor the flavor (along with temperature, texture, aroma, and other enjoyable sensations). 
2. For those of us with weight issues, eating more slowly may also help with weight loss.  How so?  Well, it’s been found that it takes the body about twenty minutes to register being full.  So if you wolf your meal down in ten minutes, there’s a good chance you’ll end up eating beyond the point of fullness because you’ve not given your body sufficient time to let you know that it’s had enough.
3. Meals are more than food intake, they’re very often social events as well.  Slowing down creates more time to enjoy the social aspect of eating.
4. Slowing down leads to chewing longer which, by reducing the size of food chunks that must be dealt with by the stomach, helps ward off indigestion.  Slowing down also leads to reduced air intake into the digestive tract, which not only minimizes the chance of indigestion but heartburn as well.
5. Eating slowly increases nutrient intake:  more nutrition without more calories.

You’ll Make Fewer Errors

There’s a reason someone came up with the saying, “Haste makes waste“.  Enough said!

Your Life Smooths Out

As mentioned above, rushing turns most everything into an obstacle, one more frustrating impediment thwarting our efforts to finish what we’re doing so we can get on to our next task.

But when you slow down and choose instead to move at the speed of life, letting it unfold in its own time with patience and acceptance, things magically smooth out and life ceases to feel like a struggle.

Choosing Slow Means Choosing a Life Philosophy 

Choosing to live life in the slow lane is to consciously adopt a guiding set of principles, a clear philosophy by which you intend to live your life. 

The goal behind slowing down is to lead a peaceful life, a goal I personally  believe to be of the highest order.

In the absence of a guiding philosophy we necessarily succumb to our default settings – primitive instincts and the mindless adoption of cultural norms, neither of which necessarily serve our best interests except through happenstance.

If living a peaceful life strikes you as a reasonable philosophy, one that is preferable to the rat race most of us currently endure, then it’s time to take charge and make the change.  

Welcome to life in the slow lane!

Warmest wishes,

Rob @ Living a Mindful Life