If you’ve read some of my other posts you may be asking yourself, “Okay, concentration, awareness, acceptance, love – all great concepts – but what does ‘being mindful’ actually look like in practice?“
So, to answer this, I’m going to take you through a hypothetical work day from start to finish, highlighting what would be considered a mindful approach to each part of the day.
The Start of a New Day
- Wake slowly (slowing down is a feature that permeates mindfulness practice because it helps activate the calming parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) and de-activate its high-alert counterpart, the sympathetic nervous system).
- Take a few deep, slow breaths (this too activates the PNS).
- Do a quick body-scan meditation, no more than a minute or two in duration, this simply being the turning of your attention to each part of your body in sequence to take in any and all sensations – warmth, cool, pressure points, the brush of clothes or bedding against your skin, etc..
- Get out of bed.
Having Breakfast
- Reflect gratefully on having abundant food. Fostering gratitude has mental, physical, and social benefits.
- Just eat – don’t watch TV and eat or check email and eat or mentally run through your day’s to-do list and eat – just focus your attention on the act of eating. Actively engage your senses, noticing aroma, sound, appearance, feel, and taste.
- Eat slowly, putting down your fork or spoon between mouthfuls. This helps counter our tendency to rush through life.
- Actively engage your senses, noticing your meal’s aroma, texture, appearance, sound, and taste. Doing so keeps you in the present moment and counters a wandering, anxious mind.
Showering, etc.
- Take close notice of the scent of your body wash and shampoo, consciously feel the warm water against your skin, tune into the sound of the cascading water, and note the taste of it. This is simply the practice of fostering present moment awareness.
- While brushing your teeth, focus your full attention on the taste of the toothpaste, its feel in your mouth, the feel of the bristles against your gums, and the sound of the brush as it works its way around your teeth.
General Getting Ready to Head to Work
- While dressing, just focus on dressing. Pay attention to the scent of your clothes, the feel of them against your skin.
- In general, whatever task you are undertaking to get yourself ready to head to work, just focus on that task and nothing else. Don’t think about the day ahead, just focus on what you’re doing in each moment as you prepare to get yourself ready for the day.
- As an example of a potential upset to your morning, you discover that your husband has, once again (and despite numerous requests!) left his smelly gym socks on your dresser. Instead of getting upset, you simply pick them up and put them in the laundry hamper. You reflect on all the loving things he does for you, acknowledge your own infuriating habits, and realize fully that in the big scheme of life, socks left on a dresser just aren’t that big a deal. Indeed, you acknowledge that none of life’s irritations are that big a deal, and certainly no reason to ruin your day over.
- Meditate 5 minutes (check out this post for the basics of how to meditate).
- If you have made your own version of my mindful commitment , give it a quick read and briefly reflect on your best intentions for the day.
Driving to Work
- As you are driving, periodically take note of the feel of the steering wheel in your hands, the pressure of the seat against your behind, the feel of your clothes against your skin and the air on your face, the scent of the interior, and the sounds around you. This helps keep you in the present moment and stops your mind from focusing anxiously on the day ahead.
- Notice your surroundings as you drive – the clouds, sunlight, birds. As you do, reflect on the beauty of nature and gratitude for having the great good fortune to experience life.
- Be considerate of other drivers, ceding the right of way.
- Relax and remind yourself that you’re not in a hurry, so don’t speed, don’t tailgate, and don’t cut people off.
- If stuck in traffic, see it not as a hindrance but, rather, as an opportunity to deeply investigate your surroundings, to activate your curiosity. Alternatively, use the opportunity to meditate, such as a quick body-scan meditation.
- If other drivers are inconsiderate or reckless don’t take it personally, just let it go. Remind yourself that humans are inherently mindless. Further, it has become a cultural norm to live life in a rushed, frantic, self-absorbed manner – but you don’t have to. And lastly, know that getting upset changes nothing, other than needlessly ruining part of your day.
At Work
- Focus on one task at a time. Doing so helps keep anxiety at bay.
- No matter what is asked of you, just do it without adding mental commentary about how stupid, boring, or useless it is. If you can change or delegate such a task, then by all means do so, but if you can’t, then just do it. Remember that putting up resistance to reality only makes a situation worse than it already is.
- Turn off email notifications and put your phone on do-not-disturb. Distractions serve only to increase anxiety. Set aside set times to deal with email and phone messages.
- If you need extended alone-time to think, let your colleagues know that you are not to be interrupted. By the same token, be considerate of your colleagues’ time and need to focus.
- Know your limitations and set realistic boundaries. Say no to requests you are unable to honour (or simply do not wish to do). And if you must take on a new or unexpected task, make clear the impact on other tasks that you will no longer be able to get to in as timely a manner, if at all.
- Set realistic expectations with management, colleagues, and clients.
- Take regular mindfulness breaks (see this post for ideas). Use these to check in on your mental state. If anxious or upset, simply acknowledge this, close your eyes, take a few slow, deep breaths, consciously relax all your muscles, and smile (even if it’s a fake smile). Know that nothing is so important as to let it ruin your day.
- Know that whatever you face, no matter how frustrating, it’s all simply part of life, nothing new that untold others have not also experienced. Whatever comes your way, simply deal with it in a calm, matter-of-fact manner.
- Take fifteen-minute morning and afternoon breaks to get a snack, stretch, go for a walk, meditate and, in general, relax and lighten up.
- If you’re able to get out for a walk and encounter litter, pick it up and dispose of it. Be the world you want, for everyone’s sake.
- Eat lunch as you ate breakfast, engaging all your senses and just focusing on the act of eating. This is best done in a secluded, quiet spot to give your mind a break and help it slow down. A noisy lunch room is not conducive to this.
- Start each meeting with a minute of silence. Creativity needs a stilled mind.
- Before sending an email or leaving a voice message take a deep, relaxing breath to avoid unhelpful negative tone.
- Before taking an incoming phone call, take a deep, relaxing breath (to activate your calming parasympathetic nervous system) and then smile! The subsequent conversation will go all the better for having done so.
- Keep mindfulness reminders around your desk (I kept a Buddha figurine on my desk).
- At day’s end, stop working, turn off your email and work phone, and go home. Your life outside work is equally, if not more, important. Know with deep humility that the world will not come to an untimely end if you don’t get all your tasks done each day. You’re just not that important in the big scheme of things – none of us are.
Driving Home
- Repeat your morning process.
- At a stop light, if solicited for cash by one of the many street people, lower your window, greet them warmly, and give them more than your brain is advising – your heart will thank you afterward.
- Ideally, get to the gym for some exercise before heading home or work out at home. Regular exercise benefits not only your physical fitness but also your mental health.
Eating Supper
- Repeat your breakfast process.
Day’s End Before Bedtime
- If you have errands to run after work, don’t rush – just focus on the tasks at hand and forego any negative mental commentary. Know fully that even errands are part of life.
“Changing the filter, wiping noses, going to meetings, picking up around the house, washing dishes, checking the dipstick – don’t let yourself think that these are distracting you from your more serious pursuits. Such a round of chores is not a set of difficulties we hope to escape – it is our path.”
Jon Kabat-Zinn, author of “Wherever You Go, There You Are“
- Spend quality time with family and friends, listening mindfully to their stories (i.e. giving them your full attention, your personal electronics turned off or ignored).
- Consider maintaining a gratitude journal, each evening documenting those things you experienced that day for which you are grateful.
- Meditate for at least fifteen minutes.
- Turn off all screen electronics at least one hour before bedtime.
- Read a few pages about mindfulness, even if it’s from the same book of wisdom over and over again every night. Contemplate the message.
Bed Time
- Get to bed early enough to ensure eight hours of sleep.
The essence of living mindfully
As illustrated above, living mindfully is characterized as follows:
- You pay attention to life, right here, right now, in the present moment rather than residing in the past or the future.
- You live as an equanimous, curious observer of the inputs from your five senses, eschewing mental commentary and judgments.
- You accept life as it actually is rather than troubling your mind with how you wish it were.
- You embody patience, compassion, gratitude, integrity, and kindness. In doing so, you influence our world for the better.
- You realize that there’s no place to rush to and no better place to be than being present – right here, right now. Better is just a state of mind.
- You commit to ongoing mindfulness practice and study.
- You are grateful for life itself and all the wonderful things it presents.
- There is a lightness to your life, a gentleness, an ease of being.
- You seek out moments of stillness for quiet contemplation.
Living mindfully means living consciously, aware of and alert to life’s small joys. In this manner, you limit the remit of your stress system and find yourself supported and nurtured by a calm knowing that life is rather fine, just the way it is.
Warmest wishes,
Rob @ Living a Mindful Life